Hope, Actually

Something strange happened in Sacramento this week. We feel… optimistic? Is that the word? It's been so long since we used it about this team that we had to look it up. Spell-check kept changing it to "delusional." But no, this is real. Brace yourselves: this is the rare issue of Beam Me Up where we cannot, in good conscience, be entirely negative.

Don't worry. There's still plenty to roast.

THE DAMAGE REPORT

The Kings drafted Darius Acuff Jr. at No. 7.

Let's just be normal for a second: this is genuinely exciting. Acuff is a 6-foot-3 guard from Arkansas who averaged 23.5 points and 6.4 assists as a freshman while shooting 44% from three. He's a legitimate offensive star, the kind of prospect the Kings have not landed in roughly forever. Scouting reports vary, but the consensus floor is "really good NBA scorer" and the ceiling is "borderline superstar." For a team that ranked 26th in offense last year, this is a transfusion.

Naturally, since we are who we are, there is a catch. The catch is defense. One scouting report on him reads, and we quote, "Acuff might be the worst defender in the 2026 draft." His defensive box plus-minus at Arkansas was worse than Trae Young's at Oklahoma, which is the basketball equivalent of someone saying "you remind me of my ex." The Kings drafted the most exciting offensive guard available and the worst defensive one. We have, in a single pick, addressed our biggest need and our other biggest need simultaneously, in opposite directions. Truly, no team does it like us.

Then, in a move that surprised everyone including possibly themselves, the Kings traded back into the first round, sending pick No. 34 plus a future second to Cleveland for the No. 29 pick, which they used on UConn forward Alex Karaban. Karaban is a two-time national champion, 6-foot-8, career 37% three-point shooter, and is described by every scouting service as some flavor of "winner" and "high-character guy." General manager Scott Perry has been openly saying he's targeting high-character players this offseason, which is corporate-speak for "we are tired of vibes."

And then, in the second round at No. 45, the Kings selected Houston guard Emanuel Sharp. Sharp is a 6-foot-3 senior, a high-character defender and shooter out of Kelvin Sampson's program, where "high character" actually means something because Sampson would visibly evict you from the gym otherwise. He fits the same theme as Karaban: experienced, tough, defends, makes threes. The Kings did not draft three players this week. They drafted one offensive savior and two adults to babysit him.

THE LONG VIEW

Here is where we have to be honest. We did not expect to write a sentence like this in 2026, but: it's a good draft. Maybe a very good draft. Three picks, three players who fit clear, identifiable needs, with a star at the top and competent veteran-ish wings around him. After two decades of "draft this guy because he was the best player on the board, ignore that we already have four of him," getting Acuff to score, Karaban to space, and Sharp to defend feels almost… intentional. Strategic. Adult. We're going to need a minute.

And it makes sense that Kings fans are losing it about Acuff specifically. John Calipari, his coach at Arkansas, said NBA teams "will regret" passing on him. That's coach-speak, sure, but Acuff was the consensus best offensive guard in this class and we got him at seven. People are throwing around comps that range from "Damian Lillard if Damian Lillard played no defense" to "young Tyreke Evans but with a real jumper." We are allowed to be excited. We checked.

The other roster shoe that's about to drop: DeMar DeRozan. The Kings are expected to either trade DeRozan or, more likely, waive-and-stretch his contract, spreading what's left of his deal over three years to clear cap space. The Clippers are reportedly waiting for him to hit free agency. It's the right move, and also a slightly sad one: DeRozan was brought here two years ago to help Fox and Sabonis make a playoff run, and now Fox is in San Antonio, Sabonis is in trade rumors, and DeRozan is being mailed to Los Angeles in pieces. The whole "Kings veteran core" experiment is being quietly dismantled like a Christmas tree on January 3rd.

But this is the move. You can't pay $25 million to a 37-year-old midrange artist when you've just drafted your future. That's how rebuilds actually work, even ours.

BEAM OR BUST

This week's verdict, offseason edition:

🟢 LIT THE BEAM- Scott Perry. Three picks, three players that fit. He even traded back into the first round, which is a sentence that has never been written about the Kings before. The bar was on the floor, and he tripped over it on the way up.

🔴 TOTAL BUST- The vibes around Acuff's defensive tape. We're allowed to be excited. We are also allowed to know what we are looking at. Both can be true.

ON THE HORIZON: CALIFORNIA CLASSIC

The first chance to actually watch any of this is sooner than you think. The California Classic runs July 4–6 at Golden 1 Center, the unofficial start of summer league and the first time Acuff puts on a Kings jersey for real. The marquee matchup is genuinely fun: July 4, 2:00 PM PT, the Kings against the Brooklyn Nets, which means Acuff vs. Mikel Brown Jr., the guard taken one pick ahead of him. The literal "what if" matchup, played out in front of Sacramento, on opening day. They scripted this for us.

It's summer league, so the basketball will be sloppy and the calls will be invented in real time. But it's the first time in a while that a Kings event in July is something Kings fans actually want to attend instead of avoid.

THE LONG VIEW (FOR REAL THIS TIME)

Look. We've been doing this newsletter for three issues and most of the job has been finding new ways to describe the same wound. This week the script flipped. We added a potential offensive star, two grown-up role players, and we're about to clear the books of an aging veteran contract. The roster has a direction. There is a plan. There is a young point guard whose highlight reel makes you sit up.

We are not going to oversell it. The next nine months will include a 4-game losing streak that makes you question the entire thing, an Acuff turnover compilation that goes viral, and at least one game where the Kings score 78 points and we all wonder if we hallucinated the draft. That is also coming. That is what being a Kings fan is.

But for one week, we are allowed to feel something other than the dull background ache. Light the beam. Not over a dumpster fire this time. Just over a draft.

See you next week. We'll be back to suffering by then. Probably.

Forward this to a Kings fan who suffers alongside you.